Thursday, October 1, 2015

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-Had a hiatus
-Football's back and everyone sucks except Brady and Rodgers
-Fantasy Football
-Not sure why, but we got into the golden palace monkey, biology, and animals in general
-Traveling to bolivia
-Girlfriends making us watch the super blood moon

We back!

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

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Never thought I'd utter this sentence, but honestly, this chameleon is everything.  Seriously.  You couldn't be more #unbothered if you tried, fam.  Not since JordanLayingInTheGrassWithTerribleJeansOn.jpeg, have we seen the likes of this:

Eating flies and avoiding predators can wait for 15 minutes when you're playing the leaf banjo and catching some z's on what appears to be a wildly uncomfortable root. 

PS. Yeah.  I forgot I had a blog for like a month.  Whoops.  But, like the consummate blogging professional that I am, I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen and never acknowledge this accidental hiatus ever again.  Hit it, Dave!

Monday, August 24, 2015

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Welcome back.  Work's trash.  This podcast is slightly less trash.  Listen.

Table of Contents:

-Taylor Swift might be worth switching to Apple Music?
-Getting old, teens are scary
-Casual racism
-Bebop and Rocksteady, TMNT
-Godzilla was bad
-Jared from Subway
-Deez Nuts
-Eat a lobster roll from McDonalds
-We're going to Kansas to Catfish everybody?

Thursday, August 13, 2015

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My god, what a hero.  If that's not a "On my way to steal your girl" face, I don't really know what is. On second thought, this might be a "ZOMG I just climbed 700 feet to the top of this crane without opposable thumbs and I've got to take a shit" face, but who's really counting here.

Got to give this guy some credit.  He sought out a challenge, put himself in position to succeed, and won.  Once you disregard the fact that "winning" means high altitude dumpage and start to appreciate this little critter for his willpower and determination, life suddenly starts to make sense.  And, to be honest, if you replace pooping with peeing, I'm right on board with this plan.  Don't lie, fellas. There was nothing more satisfying than peeing from a distance.  Personally, I used to stand outside of the bathroom door and see if I could pee in the toilet, so I completely see where this raccoon was coming from.  

No matter how much we talk about technological and social advancements, it's evident that society isn't fully ready for next-level extreme excrement.  SMH.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

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Introducing the GOOD ENOUGH Podcast.  We finally got a name.  It's not bad, it's not great.  It's good enough.  There we go.

Table of Contents:

Boston is Bougie

AC Juice falling from the sky

Philly, what happened?

Did we invent a new sport?

Summer kinda sucks.  Admit it, it does.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

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Oh.  This is wonderful.  Not like snails are gross or anything.  Let's just make them 10x their normal size and have them live in the trees in our neighborhood.  :-)

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck all of this, yo.  This really might be the last straw for Florida.  As a state, as a structural entity, as an ensemble of atoms - I want Florida out of here.  First you had that dude eat another dude because he was on Florida manufactured drugs and now this.  No three-strike system when it comes to tree-dwelling snails that can poop on me and give me meningitis.  No siree.

My first reaction to seeing a SIGN telling me that there are GIANT LAND SNAILS in the area would be very similar to this:

Not even going to get into that second picture up top.  Just going to smooth avoid it and act like I never uploaded it.  Denial is the best strategy here.

It's time:

Monday, August 3, 2015

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"Hitchhiking robot that relied on human kindness found decapitated" is arguably the funniest shit I've read in this glorious year 2015.  Dude made it through Canada and parts of Europe, but as soon as he touches down in Philly, he gets his robot head cut off and his limbs strewn about in a gutter somewhere god damn.  But let's be honest, whoever lead this robot to Philly has to be somewhat at fault here.  On a hitchhiking tour of the United States, I'm pretty sure you can leave Philadelphia off the list and things would be quite alright.  I mean, they booed Santa Clause and cheered Michael Irvin breaking his neck on the football field so of fucking course they're going to decapitate a hitchhiking robot.  If this robot somehow survived, it would have been the upset of the century.  With all due respect to Philadelphia, of course.

Look, I'm not saying this has to do with Philly's reaction to Meek Mill's demise last week, but I am saying Drake probably killed this robot.  

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

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Hometown Weddings
Ty Lawson is drunk as hell
Going to work sucks
Unemployment, apparently, also sucks
TV Shows - True Detective, Ballers, Battlebots
Awkward Ending

Leaning towards the "Life is Trash Podcast" - is that too pessimistic? Or not pessimistic enough? Let us know!

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

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Yes, I completely realize that this blog is morphing into a "yo, this guy only blogs about weird shit that happens in Japan", but honestly, I'm kind of cool with that.  That country just oozes bizarre blog content and this is my way of thanking them for it.

On the docket this week is a new game show (because Japan doesn't say no to game show pitches..god bless them) that features a bear attacking a woman in a glass box.  That's it, I think.  If you don't die, you win.  If you die, you might still win?  I'm not sure.  Can't tell when the game ends either.  Regardless, I'm fucking in.  When it comes down to it, you put any bear-related game show on TV and I'm watching.  Especially with horrible baseball on.  Jesus, when will that sport just stop with the charade and cut the season by 100 games.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the bear has fallen asleep, goodnight everyone!  See you next week maybe"

In other news, bears are becoming people more and more and we don't seem to care:

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

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Look, I'm not saying this is something we should have spotted a long time ago, but I am saying that the signs were all there.  Fat dude, limited mobility, tons of internet time, dry, mayonnaise-less sandwiches for 8 years straight?  Combine those things together and you can clearly see how a man can end up in the darkness like that.  Hell, if I eat a Subway sandwich with all the fixins, I'm liable to murder people solely on the grounds that the sandwiches are so trash.  

[Separate Subway Rant] Yo, why does every Subway smell like a horrible combination of hell, motor oil, and sweaty gym socks?  Bread doesn't smell like that.  Nothing natural smells like that.

Shout out to Subway for just tweeting through it, though.  Rule #1 of PR: if you never acknowledge it, it never happened.