Thursday, October 31, 2013

// //

Nailed it.

This dude just changed the game.  You no longer have to go to iParty and buy blonde wigs.  Just throw a yellow plastic bag over your head and you saved yourself a trip.  Armor vest?  Pfft.  Dawg, you have ALL of those CDs in your overhead compartment.  I personally couldn't think of a  better way to use the Backstreet Boys "Black and Blue" album. Lest we forget, Thor needs his hammer, right?  Wrap that plunger up in some aluminum foil and get ready to electrify some shit.  This guy would be a fool for not submitting this to a costume contest.

For Asgard, bro.  For Asgard.
// //

That Miley, man.  Just when you think "class" can't be redefined, Miley flips Merriam Webster on her head and adds in "exposing your titty."  Tons of respect for her.  A beacon of hope for all the little girls out there that have been looking for a decent role model.

I, for one, can't wait to one day bring a daughter into this Earth and they have Miley Cyrus as a role model.  So understated and refined.  The perfect template for how to ruin your daughter and ensure her a life on the stripper pole.

PS. If she has boobs, I have boobs.

PPS. Shout out to North West

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

// //

Ever channel surf in the living room with your parents, have your finger slip to a number you didn't intend on pressing and end up on some random channel with the title "Mega Boobs From Space"?  No?  Just me?

Well this is like that, except much, much worse.  

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

// //

This is like if Everest had sex with Kilimanjaro and gave birth to an even bigger mountain.  Insurmountable.  I can't envision a scenario where I eat this and come close to surviving.  If I did, my life expectancy would be sharply cut, my relationships would probably end and I'd likely hate myself.

Still, I think I have to.  Otherwise things like this:

and this:

and other assorted trash compactor grossness that I have eaten over the year(s) will not be worth it.  I'm a fake competitive gross shit eater.  It's who I am and what my legacy will likely be solidified as when I die of cardiac arrest/high cholesterol/diabetes/obesity/disinterest in getting up in the next 2-3 years.  Tell me where I can acquire this sandwich and I will eat it.*

*(with tears in my eyes)

Monday, October 28, 2013

// //

Shit's cruel.  No other way around it.  Yeah, we're laughing at these kids, but this was arguably the worst moment of their entire lives.  Imagine that.  Think about the absolute worst moment of your life getting captured on camera and displayed to millions of people so they can laugh at you.  Just ain't right.  

Poor Reed may never recover from this:
a look that screams: "if this is life, is it really worth living?"

Adrianna threw up on national television:
handled it like a boss, though.

Bro, you made Angelo take off his Skeleton headphones:
I'm not saying he was listening to "Money, Cash, Hoes", but it's just a hunch.

I blame Kanye:

She's actually fed up.  I would have stopped rolling immediately:

There's a common theme on WMD that kids are worthless.  Basically uncommunicative for about a decade.  To pass the time you make sure they have food, water, shelter and obviously candy.  For every house that gives out an apple, mini-toothbrushes, or motherfucking Tootise-Rolls, you can rot in the fieriest pits of Hell.  Don't be that house.
// //

Awesome.  No idea who any of you are since MacGruber left, but I enjoyed this.  The one true way to my heart is doing anything related to pre-2012 Will Smith.  I've been trying to find a way to be "Hitch" since 2005.  Seriously.  If you know how I can, please help.

I'll tell you who needed to clean it up, though.  This guy:

Dude got an opportunity to shine and completely botched it.  Missed 90% of his lines and had the look of someone who hasn't taken "Public Speaking" yet.  Unless he averages a double-double, this guy should be kicked off the squad.

PS. I can already tell that this video is going to play a crucial role in me filling out my bracket in March.

Friday, October 25, 2013

// //

That look.  That look right there is the look you give when the jig is up.  Bro has been hiding for like 500 years and all of sudden some human popped around the corner and photographed him.  That's the definition of shock, ladies and gentlemen.

This is also the same look every dude has on their face the first time they see boobs. If a naked female photographer took this picture and this monkey is a dude, it might have just died on the spot.

PS. Nothing better than the "Oh shit, did they see me? Better look away" face that we have all made at least a billion times, though.

Try sneaking out of the office early, have your boss pop up in the elevator bank and have someone snap a picture.  Bet it looks very similar.
// //

After getting rid of the much-loved "Facebook Friday" awhile back, I felt like I needed to bring back something that people can participate and engage in with the blog.  FB Friday was a good start, but shit got way too volatile and it was hard to make everyone happy.  Instead, send in your questions to WORKINGMANSDIARY@GMAIL.COM and I will pick one for the week that we can all answer and play around with.  Let's do it.

For clarification purposes, this question is referring to "dangerous" animals fought in an enclosed room.  Likely to the death.  We can all beat the FUCK out of a hamster, there's no pride in that.  I'm talking animal that most people would consider deadly.  Also, I came up with this question at my buddy's wedding the other week while essentially talking to myself in a large group.  God complex, guys.

1) Rattlesnake:
Yes, they are incredibly poisonous and quick, but I think they are overrated on the danger spectrum.  Newsflash, snakes have no extremities and can barely see.  Big time disadvantages.  Fairly easy to stomp one out if you have a plan of attack and have a semblance of athleticism.  When you take away their ability to be stealth and sneak up on you, it's basically a mismatch.

Hey rattlesnake, your face:

2) Kangaroo:
MUCH tougher than the rattlesnake and initially wasn't going to make the list until I found out one interesting fact about them: they can't turn very well.  Poor hip swivel or some shit.  That said, I'm in trouble if I am in front, but if I manage to get behind it, the fight's over.  I wouldn't feel bad either because if it had the opportunity it would literally punch and kick me to death.  Death by kangaroo ass-whooping would probably ban me from heaven.

3) Tarantula: 
Embarrassed that this made the list, but some people out there honestly think tarantulas are killing machines because they are big spiders.  Not the case.  White People domesticate and pet them.  Stop thinking these things are scary. 

What up, Drew Sharp?

4) Hyena
Pure gut instinct on this one.  I think it'll be a "whoever wins won't live much longer" match, but alas, I think I pull it off.  Too much "Lion King" related emotion going into this one.  Plus they're like a small-ish-medium sized dog.  Don't see too much trouble with these things.

5) Bald Eagle
Do I need eyes?  Nope.  In an enclosed space, this eagle will rip my eyes off and leave me struggling for a bit.  When I get my bearings and everything goes numb, it's a wrap for that eagle.  Any human that allows themselves to get pecked to death should have their human card revoked.
// //
Loads of people are talking about Don Yelton, who was recently forced to resign as a North Carolina county's GOP chair (Buncombe County, if you care). And since we're, you know, lazy and expect the government and everyone else to give us everything, we're forcing our way onto that bandwagon. We would have posted this yesterday, but we were busy working! Or standing in line for our welfare check.

So turbo racism and blatant partisanism aside (yes, it's a real word), these are the key takeaways:

1) Tiny glasses

Anyone with spectacles that small should be up on the housetop (click, click, click), struggling and wheezing his way out of your chimney after leaving mad loot under your decorated pine captive.

Now we know. Be very afraid of middle-aged white men in tiny glasses because none of them are Santa and they have the complete opposite of presents for you.

2) Bohonka

Speaking of real words, this is a vernacular term for buttocks, apparently in the North Carolina region and vicinity. I live in California. I thought bohonka was what someone would name an illegal pet panda. We're not ignorant here, we know about badonkadonks. Or maybe I'm the ignorant one? Enlighten me, people of other regions, on the bohonka.

I am here and now officially declaring what's left of 2013, The Year of the Bohonka.

Here is the full video for anyone who got to this point not knowing what I'm talking about.

When asked about the video and subsequent backlash, Yelton said, "The comments that were made, that I said, I stand behind them. I believe them." You bet your bohonka.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

// //
Apparently this guy Gary Matthews (yeah that's a guy in the video) is an unemployed IT technician. Can't say it's a shocker that an unemployed nerd spends his free time digging holes in his backyard and licking water out of a bowl. Squid city. Not sure how this could be the right move at all in life unless...
gary matthews
... dear lord this guy could not look more like a lesbian. Well played, Boomer, well played. When life hands you lemons, you start barking at people out your window and taking shits on newspaper.
I mean the guy's costume at least kind of looks like a dog. You have someone walk you in the park and maybe you get to hump some hot chick's leg or something. Guarantee it's more action than this poor son of a bitch gets walking around looking like Tommy Wiseau's sister.
So my hat is firmly off for Gary Matthews or Boomer or whatever. Haters gonna hate, furries gonna eat dogfood and lick their own assholes.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

// //
Trick question.  You obviously do.

This pup is the definition of out of sorts.

His skin won't let him be great.

I'm not saying this dog is around marijuana smoke most of the day, but I'm not saying it's not

Honestly can't tell you where this dog begins or ends.

Bro in the middle needs to figure things out and fast.

Hey adversity, this dog just smacked the shit out of you.



Dogs, man.

Monday, October 21, 2013

// //

No wonder everyone likes the blue ones best.
According to HuffPost, an African American guy was thrown in jail for a day after cops searched him and found jolly ranchers in his pocket. Now, obvious racial connotations aside, I love this play by the cop.
Now I can't be sure, but I heard (From myself. Just now. When I made it up.) the arresting officer was a bit of a hefty fellow. You know the old lady's gotta be crawling up this guy's ass to diet and exercise. She buys a treadmill. Hides the junk food. What options does a man have left but to troll the local 7/11 and arrest guys who come out with jolly ranchers? Fundamental, really. I mean, when life deals you a shitty hand, you take a guy's candy and throw him in jail.

// //

Don't know what to think about this.  "Drumline" taught me it was cool to be in a marching band because Nick Cannon (by the graces of movie magic and bribery) got Zoe Saldana.  "Pitch Perfect" taught me that college acapella groups are cool and that everything in life is handed to you if you can NAIL "Magic" by BOB.  Right is left and up is down.

PS. He made "Thriller", though.


Sunday, October 20, 2013

// //

I guess when you're a team that previously videotaped team practices and used that information to your advantage, it makes sense that the rule book isn't exactly your best friend.  I think the former VP of NFL officiating has a solid idea of how things work, though.


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

// //

Looks just like him.  Only if he got hit with an anvil and lived his life trying to impersonate Eeyore.  I don't condone violence, but someone in Pac's fam should stomp this dude out, for respect's sake.  It's crazy that the penmanship was so tight on the letters and numbers, but so abysmal everywhere else.

I've been there, tattoo artist.  Sometimes you're drawing some shit and it gets away from you.  You take a wrong turn.  Wrist goes left when you want it to go right.  We've all been there.  Except we can fucking erase it or scribble it out, bro.  You permanently planted droopy faced, Pac with a mental handicap on a dude's arm.  Left ear looking like a god damn elf.  Thug life, indeed, white arm.

Never forget:
// //
"I'm a middle-aged white woman, final answer."

Jeez louise, this woman's head just got put into a grinder.  One second, she's a humble mother of three that has only heard about the likes of this "Drake" character on the radio on mini-van rides to AYSO soccer games. Next, she's in front of millions having to answer a detailed question about one of his songs.  I feel for you, red.  I really do.  You didn't need to throw up the "I think I just sat in some shit" face, though.  Can't reveal your hand like that.

My recommendation:

Go with the emotional emotionless face.  No one has a CLUE what this guy is feeling, but he's definitely feeling something.  When you get home and your husband freaks out because you couldn't get the $100 question right, throw up this face and casually walk to the bedroom.  Works every time.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

// //

Hey man, chill out.  Have a beer.  Take a walk outside.  Whatever you do, stay away from that little jug of LEGOs in your nephews room.  You clearly don't know how to use them correctly.

Now I'm not saying I'm a LEGO expert, but I definitely am.

Exhibit A:
Name: "There's Levels To This"

Short, simple, understated, yet somehow, overstated.  I focused on symmetry, earth tones and being baller as hell.  Pretty sure all of that was accomplished.  I don't even need to show the second one, but it's a blessed day for y'all.

Exhibit B:
Name: "The Sun King"

My coup de grace.  The end of the road.  Masterpiece.  Whatever you want to call it, this is the pinnacle of LEGO usage.  A cyclops with a fern on its head, two lopsided feet and laser cannons on its shoulders just shat all over naked, showering grandpa.

I didn't want it to come to this, but whenever someone misuses LEGOs so egregiously, I have to check them.  It's the cross I bear.
// //

It's 2013 and the Blue Screen of fucking Death is still playing a pivotal role in our lives.  That just can't happen.  I shouldn't look up to check the gate of my flight and find the same screen that I saw when I overloaded my desktop with Kazaa porn.  I've come too far from porn-related panic attacks to have to deal with that feeling again.

Pardon me for thinking that the hub of ALL information in an International airport was maintained by an eMachines desktop in the basement.  Airport staff must have been behind the scenes using cups attached to string to communicate to solve this dilemma.  Guys, just hold the power button, hope that shit turns back on and pretend nothing happened like every one of us has in the past.

Dallas, Texas in a nutshell.  Dirk, Romo, BBQ, racism, AOL 3.2, cowboy hats, and Debbie Does...
// //
Came to work today, grabbed the mail on the way, and this was on the cover of New York Magazine.
I tried to find this photo on the webs but it's not there yet. Sorry about the glare.

He looks like Ozzy Osbourne ate Danzig and burped up Charles Manson. Why you gotta make a bitch feel old as fuck, Joaquin? What a dick. I'm hella younger than you.

Just to remind everyone born after 1985, this is the kid from Spacecamp..

Thanks, Joaquin Phoenix, for ruining my day. I'm off to drown myself in collagen now.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

// //
I'm still lost in the fur of that crazy shaggy dog I posted like eight years ago. This is kind of a monster post, video-wise, to make up for not posting lately.

When you have to get work done (on a fucking Sunday), it's really awesome that there's loads of stuff to distract you. Thanks, internet. I already have ADHD. I don't need any help wasting time.

I'm writing this essay about stuff that happened in the 90s, so naturally I had to look up Jamiroquai.

Then I had to know what song Napoleon Dynamite danced to. Google creeps me out/amazes me when it finishes my search phrases: "Jamiroquai what song..." I typed. " in Napoleon Dynamite" Google finished. It's like an echo.

Also, I searched for that Wyclef Jean song.

Finally I found this.

Fingers crossed that my next post will be relevant within the last two years.

Friday, October 11, 2013

// //

           I had a tough time tonight trying to find someone to watch USMNT’s second to last World Cup qualifying match. “Jamaica sucks,” said some. “This game doesn’t matter, we already qualified,” said others. “But you smell bad,” chirped yet others. And while Jamaica isn’t the highest quality opponent the Americans have downed in this cycle of qualification and I may or may not have been bathing in my own body odor all day, I couldn’t shake the fact that people think these last 2 games don’t matter.
            Look, soccer isn’t the most popular sport here. I get that. I also get that tonight’s result has no bearing on Brazil because the United States has already qualified. But there were pertinent factors that affect the national team set-up in play tonight.

The lineup is a work in progress
            For the duration of the first half against Jamaica, we saw just how heavily the U.S. midfield burden falls on Michael Bradley’s shoulders. As admirable a possession player Mix Diskerud is, he lacks the box-to-box runs of a player like Bradley. And while Jermaine Jones is certainly a more combative type, he does not possess the same level of technical prowess as Bradley.

            This match showed us that, excluding central midfield, the U.S. actually has quality depth depth for the first time in a while. Brad Evans continues to impress at right back. Geoff Cameron looked very comfortable slotting into CB for someone who plays RB at Stoke City. It will be interesting to see if he or Clarence Goodson challenges the favored Besler/Gonzales center back pairing before Brazil 2014. Bedoya looked good again at right midfield, but then again so did Zusi.

            Klinsmann’s men lined up in a 4-4-2 with a diamond midfield today, deviating from their usual 4-2-3-1. It was good to see that Aron Johansson is a viable backup target forward, if a bit raw. And with Dempsey, Donovan, Zusi, Bedoya, Corona, Eddie Johnson, and Fabian Johnson to play attacking midfield or the wide positions, the U.S. has an exciting wealth of attacking talent.

Become a seeded team is an unlikely but possible scenario
            The next FIFA world rankings come out October 17. According to World Cup rules, the top 8 teams in these next rankings (or top 7 and the host in this case) will be the seeded teams for World Cup 2014 and will get to navigate weaker opposition in the group stages. With a win tonight and a win in Panama, the U.S. should vault to 10th in the rankings. While it is unlikely that the teams in between the USMNT and 7th spot will falter, the carrot of the U.S.A’s first ever World Cup seeding is enough to give these last 2 games significance.

Ratings (out of 10, 5 being average)

GK Tim Howard: 5.5 – Scared us all by spilling an early free kick, Howard settled down and performed well in the face of an ordinary night’s work. Made a nice save late to preserve the clean sheet.

RB Brad Evans: 7 – Unfortunate to give away a dangerous free kick late in the first half as his slide tackle seemed to dispossess Mattocks cleanly. Kept Mattocks in his back pocket for most of the game, not allowing the dangerous wide man to trouble Howard’s goal. Didn’t get down the flank much but wasn’t asked to against a generally brittle Jamaica backline.

CB Geoff Cameron: 6.5 – Remained composed throughout a generally easy defensive game. Gets a .5 bump for starting at CB while normally out right for his club. Occasionally lost physical battles with Ryan Johnson.

CB Matt Besler: 6.5 – Becoming a relied-upon presence at the back despite his relative inexperience, it is a credit to his talent that since his debut start in the scoreless draw against Mexico at the Azteca Stadium he has started almost every international game sans the Gold Cup.

LB DaMarcus Beasley: 6 – Not at his most composed defensively, but had the pace to make up for his mistakes and limit Brown’s threat down the U.S. left flank. Missed a good chance to open the scoring and was replaced by Castillo in the 66th minute.

CDM Jermaine Jones: 5 – Did not allow Jamaica time and space on the counterattack but struggled with distribution. Lacks the vision and technical skill of Bradley as he looked to launch long-ball after long-ball over the top with little success.

RM Alejandro Bedoya: 6 – Had a quiet first half and was a little sloppy with his passing. But was a more lively presence in the second half and contributed a fine assist to Graham Zusi’s opener.

LM Landon Donovan: 4.5 – Looked fatigued and tedious on the ball, lacking the creativity that’s come to be expected of him at this point. Drifted in and out of the game and was replaced at halftime by Zusi.

CAM Mix Diskerud: 5.5 – Kept possession ticking over well for the United States but lacked the eye for a killer pass that should accompany responsibility as the team’s primary playmaker. Looked much better at the end of the game.

ST Aron Johansson: 6.5 – In a sloppy first half for the hosts, Johansson looked hungry and thus the likeliest to make the breakthrough. Didn’t put away a few half-chances but suffered a lack of service. Always looked to find the ball and make positive plays.

ST Jozy Altidore: 6 – Helped out on the first goal and scored the second, but not a great performance from Jozy. Looked out of sync with his strike partner, Johansson, and mistimed a handful of early runs into the box. Took his goal with composure to make it 6 in the last 6 international contests for the U.S’s starting striker.


Edgar Castillo: 6.5 – Good performance from the much-maligned left back/midfielder. Looked to push play up the left flank immediately after coming on for Beasley and made a good assist for Altidore’s goal.

Graham Zusi: 8 – The difference maker tonight for the national team. Playing in front of his home crowd in Kansas City, the playmaker seemed to have the creative spark that the U.S. lacked earlier. Pounced on a loose ball in the box to break the deadlock.

Sacha Kljestan: 5.5 – Looked tidy in possession in an 18 minute cameo appearance. Is always good to play possession and help kill off a game but offers little direct threat, as evidenced by his wasting of Zusi’s good cross.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

// //

(Full screen it)

There it is, guys.  We all just did ecstasy together.  Yes it was awful and yes I almost started to cry.  Wasn't that all of your reactions too?

Hate voodoo like this.  I felt like a prisoner the entire time thinking that some ghost/scary picture would randomly pop up when I gave it my full attention.  Good thing it was just your standard, run of the mill hallucination video.  Phew.

This is what the kids are doing at Dubstep shows these days?  Idiots.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

// //

Sometimes you send a selfie and it gets in the wrong hands.  When that happens, it belongs to the internet.  Anything that happens after is fair game.  It could be seen by the wrong people, a desperate blogger could post it and someone could create a collage of pics illustrating your eye brow flying off of your face and turning into a bald eagle.  It's a cruel world out here.

I don't like finding pictures like these because it's my fake job to post them.  I take what the internet gives.  It's like being a shooter in the NBA left wide open.  Gotta shoot it.  Gotta exploit unibrows.
// //

Take it from me, this shit doesn't work.  I arguably have a closer relationship with Sprite than I do with a lot of relatives.  A small percentage of my bodily composition may literally be Sprite.  I have also spent time method acting as an alcoholic for the better part of my 20s.  There have been more than a few mornings where I zombied my way into the kitchen and saw stale ass, flat Sprite on the counter and chugged the whole thing.  Know what happened?  I went back to bed, kept groaning and watched an entire season of Gilmore Girls, Greek Lost on Netflix.

Here's Dub J's hangover cure: 

1) Don't drink that last shot/mixed drink at the end of the night, no matter what the scenario:  It won't make the hook-up you're undoubtedly fighting for any better and it won't make that time with friends any more fun.  Just put it down.

2) Do eat something kind of disgusting and greasy: You'll be hungry and it'll absorb all of the toxins that you drank.  At least that's what science makes me tell myself.  Oh, and you'll probs get fat, but this is about fighting hangovers not obesity.

3) When you do the requisite "get ready for bed" stuff, make sure to drink from the faucet for 20 seconds: This is the real life saver.  I'm personally too practical to pour water into a cup in such a dire situation, so this method works for me. You won't wake up with a headache and you won't deal with cotton-mouth.  NOTE: You may pee the bed, but you'll have the pee dream which kinda makes it all worth it.

4) You're going to wake up early because your body is fighting not to die.  Go back to sleep: This prolongs the hangover because as soon as your body manages to defeat it, you're tired anyway.  If you're too tired, you won't be able to do any of it again the next night.

NASA, I'm waiting for your call.  I'm a fucking scientist now, I think.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

// //

Enough is enough.  It has finally hit home for me.  Sure, it doesn't explicitly mention that the Marines can't masturbate BECAUSE of the Government Shutdown, but it doesn't have to.  The writing is on the walls, along with lots and lots of bodily discharge.

Do you know how many people are going to see this notice, say "Fuck it" and proceed to porta-potty masturbate?  Everyone.  Absolutely every single male and female in the force. This may go down as the most broken rule of all time when it's all said and done.

Don't mess with masturbation, America, or else you'll find a military facility covered in crispy socks and balled up t-shirts.

Monday, October 7, 2013

// //

Sometimes podium stands sneak up on you, I get that.  Just have some dignity in the fall, kid.  It's safe to say that you didn't handle yourself well.  A few things:

1)  Is that an XFL ball?  A Rugby ball?  What fucking country is this?

2) Your teeth.  They're gone.

3) No one seemed THAT concerned that you basically died on the stage.  The woman in the wheelchair saw, but she didn't want to say anything and disrupt the ceremony.

4)  Learn from this.  People can go one of two ways after being made into a embarrassing .gif - a) hard drugs and early death or b) parlaying it into a toothless make-out with some sorority girl when you make it to college and take advantage of your brief internet celebrity.  Your choice.

(Somewhere in the distance is a father on his cell phone Googling, "How to disown a son?")

Friday, October 4, 2013

// //

Don't really see the purpose for the "Wildcat" other than human extinction.  Seriously.  I watched the video on mute solely to avoid whatever bullshit reason they spewed for creating this thing.  Its purpose is to kill, take zero prisoners and not give a fuck about it.  If you don't think this monster will river-dance all over your skull the first chance it gets, you have way too positive of an outlook on life.

Robots are fun for a minute and then you realize, "What if they could think?  What then?" and all bets are off.  Skynet, people.

PS. Don't even get me started on Monsieur, the Robot Bartender:
This cube just looks like an asshole.  Strikes me as the type to wear a tank top that's too small and pump the cleavage out a little bit.  It wouldn't surprise me if it ignored me for 20 minutes even though I'm the only one in the house and forced me to wave my credit card in it's face to get it's attention.  Done with robots.
// //
So did anyone cry at the end of Breaking Bad?  I wanted to, but didn't.  I truly sat there and tried to will my eyes to cry, but couldn't muster up anything.  If anything deserved pure Dub J bitch-tears it was this show and it will be greatly missed.

Say what you want about the finale, the show went out correctly.  It could have been viewed as neat and tidy or convoluted and introspective.  The fact that the show gave you that option after hitting Grand Slam after Grand Slam says a lot about the quality of the "product" created by Vince Gilligan.  That being said, Albuquerque, New Mexico must be fucking sad.  Chariot turned back into a pumpkin.  People forgetting that it's a state and thinking it's actually part of Mexico.  

This obit isn't just for Walt or Breaking Bad.  It's an obituary for state pride and relevance.  RIP Albuquerque, we may never hear from you again.