Friday, October 25, 2013

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Question Of The Week: What Dangerous Animals Can You Confidently Defeat In A Fight?

After getting rid of the much-loved "Facebook Friday" awhile back, I felt like I needed to bring back something that people can participate and engage in with the blog.  FB Friday was a good start, but shit got way too volatile and it was hard to make everyone happy.  Instead, send in your questions to WORKINGMANSDIARY@GMAIL.COM and I will pick one for the week that we can all answer and play around with.  Let's do it.

For clarification purposes, this question is referring to "dangerous" animals fought in an enclosed room.  Likely to the death.  We can all beat the FUCK out of a hamster, there's no pride in that.  I'm talking animal that most people would consider deadly.  Also, I came up with this question at my buddy's wedding the other week while essentially talking to myself in a large group.  God complex, guys.

1) Rattlesnake:
Yes, they are incredibly poisonous and quick, but I think they are overrated on the danger spectrum.  Newsflash, snakes have no extremities and can barely see.  Big time disadvantages.  Fairly easy to stomp one out if you have a plan of attack and have a semblance of athleticism.  When you take away their ability to be stealth and sneak up on you, it's basically a mismatch.

Hey rattlesnake, your face:

2) Kangaroo:
MUCH tougher than the rattlesnake and initially wasn't going to make the list until I found out one interesting fact about them: they can't turn very well.  Poor hip swivel or some shit.  That said, I'm in trouble if I am in front, but if I manage to get behind it, the fight's over.  I wouldn't feel bad either because if it had the opportunity it would literally punch and kick me to death.  Death by kangaroo ass-whooping would probably ban me from heaven.

3) Tarantula: 
Embarrassed that this made the list, but some people out there honestly think tarantulas are killing machines because they are big spiders.  Not the case.  White People domesticate and pet them.  Stop thinking these things are scary. 

What up, Drew Sharp?

4) Hyena
Pure gut instinct on this one.  I think it'll be a "whoever wins won't live much longer" match, but alas, I think I pull it off.  Too much "Lion King" related emotion going into this one.  Plus they're like a small-ish-medium sized dog.  Don't see too much trouble with these things.

5) Bald Eagle
Do I need eyes?  Nope.  In an enclosed space, this eagle will rip my eyes off and leave me struggling for a bit.  When I get my bearings and everything goes numb, it's a wrap for that eagle.  Any human that allows themselves to get pecked to death should have their human card revoked.

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  1. Anonymous said... October 25, 2013 at 4:39 PM

    bear cub? can you beat a bear cub, Dub?

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