Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Yes, I completely realize that this blog is morphing into a "yo, this guy only blogs about weird shit that happens in Japan", but honestly, I'm kind of cool with that. That country just oozes bizarre blog content and this is my way of thanking them for it.
On the docket this week is a new game show (because Japan doesn't say no to game show pitches..god bless them) that features a bear attacking a woman in a glass box. That's it, I think. If you don't die, you win. If you die, you might still win? I'm not sure. Can't tell when the game ends either. Regardless, I'm fucking in. When it comes down to it, you put any bear-related game show on TV and I'm watching. Especially with horrible baseball on. Jesus, when will that sport just stop with the charade and cut the season by 100 games.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the bear has fallen asleep, goodnight everyone! See you next week maybe"
In other news, bears are becoming people more and more and we don't seem to care:
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Look, I'm not saying this is something we should have spotted a long time ago, but I am saying that the signs were all there. Fat dude, limited mobility, tons of internet time, dry, mayonnaise-less sandwiches for 8 years straight? Combine those things together and you can clearly see how a man can end up in the darkness like that. Hell, if I eat a Subway sandwich with all the fixins, I'm liable to murder people solely on the grounds that the sandwiches are so trash.
[Separate Subway Rant] Yo, why does every Subway smell like a horrible combination of hell, motor oil, and sweaty gym socks? Bread doesn't smell like that. Nothing natural smells like that.
Shout out to Subway for just tweeting through it, though. Rule #1 of PR: if you never acknowledge it, it never happened.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
We really need to come up with a name. Suggestions?
Table of Contents:
-high functioning alcoholism
-stealing shit from work
-4th of July plans
-moving is the worst
-SCOTUS decision
-Facebook is terrible. It's all terrible
-NBA stuff for awhile (girls should stop listening for roughly 15 minutes)
-Luke Ridnour got traded 1000 times in 3 days
-An ode to Four Loko
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