Thursday, January 7, 2016

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Tila Tequila, In The Year 2016, Has Become Very Passionate About The Shape Of Earth


Tila Tequila is not here for your facts, figures, or scientific evidence. She is here for the very hard, possibly hallucinogenic drugs, though.  Shout out to her for ushering in #STAYWOKE2016 the right way tonight.

We have a strict "Fuck Christopher Columbus" policy at WMD, but my god Tila, this shit was revealed like 500 years ago.  After the dude didn't fall off the side of Earth and we figured out satellites and what not, we put this baby to bed.  But nope.  Not on our favorite perpetually drunk Asian pygmy's watch.  Let's review the three very important questions/ideas that she brought up in her K2 fueled rant:

1) HOW CAN PLANE'S LAND ON A GLOBE, FAM?! 

Science: What?
Tila: You ever try to stand on a basketball?  Exactly.

2) WHY IS THE NORTH POLE ALWAYS IN THE SAME SPOT THO?!

Science: Are you high? Wait, never mind.  I honestly don't want to talk to you anymore.
Tila: Explains why Mrs. and Mr. Clause don't have children.
Science: I hate you.

3) TOO MUCH SUNLIGHT IMO

Tila: Turn on the light in your living room and watch what happens. 
Scientist: *Leaves room and smashes every PhD in the building*

Oh good, your standard "covering my tracks in case I'm murdered" tweet:

Wait a second..."they" as in THAT they?!  


Honestly don't know what to believe anymore.

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