Friday, January 8, 2016

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When Is It Okay To Go Back To Chipotle?

Easily the most important question surrounding my life at this moment.  Will there be some sort of announcement?  Is this something you just have to feel out?  Who knows.  What I do know is this decision is centered around you having an honest conversation with your butt.

Look, it's been well documented that me and Chipotle have had our differences.  Sometimes they absolutely fuck up rolling the burrito and pretend like I don't see it even though I literally have nothing else to look at and sometimes I steal their Tabasco sauce.  They are habitual line steppers and it's my duty to check them.  With that said, I keep coming back.  It's not a healthy relationship by any means, but we make it work.  

Speaking of "healthy", that FYI notice above can simply replace "supply chain" with "pooping" so everyone stops lying to each other.  If we are going to repair this relationship, it's going to have to be about honesty and you telling me that there is a very good possibility that I poop my pants minutes after I leave your establishment.  

Here's a quick guide to decide if you're ready to go back:

1) Talk to your butt and make sure the time is right for both of you.

2) Assess other burrito options around you