Thursday, June 16, 2016

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I Feel Like This Lizard Is Trying To Win His Girl's Heart Back

"Baby, I'm sorry!"

I'm not lizard expert, but this guy looks like he got caught sliding into some Instagram model's DMs and came up with a terrible excuse as to why it happened like "You heard about that new iPhone virus that makes you send pre-generated dick pics to random Instagram models, right? Well I have it, so yeah. That explains that little snafu"  Fast forward 48 hours later after sleeping on a friend's couch for a couple of nights and your boy finally realized where he went wrong. 

After waking up in a pile of Doritos crumbs and empty Mountain Dew cans, our lizard hero had an epiphany.  And by "epiphany", I mean he deleted Instagram off his phone and hoped that would suffice as a legitimate apology.  Bold strategy.  Let's hope it works out for him.

But seriously, you have to move the FUCK out of this neighborhood/town/city/state/country if shit like this could just happen on a random Wednesday afternoon.  

"Yeah Mitch, I came back from the office and a daggone Godzilla baby was dangling off my doorknob.  Can you believe that? Lol"

*After actually reading the article and not just taking the video/pictures with zero context like I usually do, this apparently happened in Thailand.  Equipped with this knowledge, and despite the deliciousness of your various similar-yet-kinda-different flavored noodles, it's going to be a hard NO on anything Thailand related for the rest of eternity.