Tuesday, August 4, 2015

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"Oh We Have Giant Snails Now" May Be The Last Straw For Florida

Oh.  This is wonderful.  Not like snails are gross or anything.  Let's just make them 10x their normal size and have them live in the trees in our neighborhood.  :-)

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck all of this, yo.  This really might be the last straw for Florida.  As a state, as a structural entity, as an ensemble of atoms - I want Florida out of here.  First you had that dude eat another dude because he was on Florida manufactured drugs and now this.  No three-strike system when it comes to tree-dwelling snails that can poop on me and give me meningitis.  No siree.

My first reaction to seeing a SIGN telling me that there are GIANT LAND SNAILS in the area would be very similar to this:

Not even going to get into that second picture up top.  Just going to smooth avoid it and act like I never uploaded it.  Denial is the best strategy here.

It's time: