Heroic Raccoon Climbs 700 Foot Crane For The Sole Purpose Of Pooping Off Of It

My god, what a hero.  If that's not a "On my way to steal your girl" face, I don't really know what is. On second thought, this might be a "ZOMG I just climbed 700 feet to the top of this crane without opposable thumbs and I've got to take a shit" face, but who's really counting here.

Got to give this guy some credit.  He sought out a challenge, put himself in position to succeed, and won.  Once you disregard the fact that "winning" means high altitude dumpage and start to appreciate this little critter for his willpower and determination, life suddenly starts to make sense.  And, to be honest, if you replace pooping with peeing, I'm right on board with this plan.  Don't lie, fellas. There was nothing more satisfying than peeing from a distance.  Personally, I used to stand outside of the bathroom door and see if I could pee in the toilet, so I completely see where this raccoon was coming from.  

No matter how much we talk about technological and social advancements, it's evident that society isn't fully ready for next-level extreme excrement.  SMH.