Tuesday, June 24, 2014

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I'm Fed Up With The Google Homepage

Look at this.  What in the FUCK is going on here?  Two Asian eggs hanging out with a Mexican bird that has a gunshot wound in its head?  I've never done acid, but I have a good idea what it's like based on this picture.  In other news, Google is wild'n out.  I get it.  When you have a trillion dollars in the bank, you can throw semi-terrifying images/gifs on the homepage and not really care what people say.  Google has also created some bomb-ass homepages in the past that had the power to turn a crappy day around instantly.  With that said, all the goodwill Google has built with me is being slowly destroyed by these World Cup themed pages.

(Yo, did anyone know the World Cup was a MONTH long?  Holy hell.)

"Oh my god, they NAILED my office.  All we do is watch the World Cup at work when the boss isn't around.  SOOO GOOD!"

I'm fed up, man.  I was offended by this and I don't even know why.  Felt unpatriotic for some reason.  Like, why is our bird hovering at a pace a millisecond slower than that other bird?  Yeah, that may not be true, but when you're fed up you look for shit to make you madder.  It's the curse of being a hater.  

All in all, I'm craving for that simple Google homepage.  Just the word Google.  That lovely trillion-dollar company that mines all of our personal data and will soon take over the world Terminator 2 - style that we all know and love.  I want you back.