Tuesday, January 3, 2017

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Soulja Boy Made Up A Wildly Ridiculous Story About Killing A Burglar And Let Me Tell Ya, I'm Not Even Mad

^Start at 2:20 (although you should watch the whole thing because it's ridiculous)

Synopsis: Soulja Boy had a home invader, shot him, walked up to the body, pulled the mask off, said he knew who the guy was, and shot him again. Vlad continues to ask questions and indicates that he's very clearly the feds

This is kinda like when Baxter ate the whole wheel of cheese. How can I be upset about any of this? Soulja Boy casually turned a tale of brutal murder into a game of Time Crisis 2 at Chuck E. Cheese.

Like, come on man:

Call me a nerd, but I've never shot and/or murdered anyone before. Yeah, I know. Big time dweeb shit. With that said, no one has ever shot a person like this. Time Crisis doesn't even support this range of motion, dawg. But hey, live your dreams and *shoot* for the stars. You've certainly come a long way from infiltrating our Kazaa and Bearshare accounts with your objectively wack but catchy music.

PS. I'm fairly (100%) certain that DJ Vlad is the most detectable undercover cop of all time. Dude was essentially playing "Guess Who" with Soulja and implicated him roughly 45 times in a five minute interview. Bizarre stuff all around.