Tuesday, April 29, 2014

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What's Your Favorite Piece Of Disembodied Barbie Jewelry?

I know what you're asking yourself and, yes, I thought about it too.  How can you live with yourself if you turn down an "ASS" bracelet?  Knowing my luck, I'll turn down the ass bracelet right before ass bracelets become the "it" thing to wear.  Don't know if I can miss my shot at fashion immortality.  

Has a "slavey" vibe to it, but ya know what?  I kinda dig the diversity.  If everyone's a slave, no one's a slave, right?  No?  Shit.  Maybe not this one.

I know boob necklaces when I see them and this right here is a boob necklace.  I'm not saying that nipple-less Barbie boobs are influencing my decision making process, but I can verify that they are definitely not helping.

This is nightmare fuel.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it.  It's vile, disgusting and I'm pretty sure that I'm offended by it.  With that said, I think there is tremendous use for this as a coaster.  Imagine hosting a dinner party and really shaking things up with this on your table.  Your friends will REALLY think about whether or not they want to be your friends.  So if you're trying to filter out people in your life, this will make a great holiday gift!

If Donald Sterling wanted to make a preposterous power move, he'd buy this right now and wear it tomorrow and every day thereafter.  Like they always say, the best way to prove that you're not a racist is to wear a Black Ken - White Barbie interracial necklace.  Worked for Don Imus, Bill O'Reilly, and Tommy Hilfiger, so it's your turn now, Mr. Sterling.  Prove us wrong.

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