Tuesday, July 21, 2009

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Where Has My Summer Gone? Pt. One

--I am not going to go to the same party for 12 years.

“Another day of monotony

Has gotten me to the point I'm like a snail

I've got to formulate a plot or end up in jail or shot”

-Eminem “Lose Yourself”

Preach it Marshall. I won’t go as far to say that I will be imprisoned or gunned down, but something needs to happen. I looked at my phone this morning and saw that it was July 21st. Really?! As depressing as it sounds, I don’t think I checked the date in about a month and a half and legitimately thought it was like June 15th. There really is no need to check when every day is the same.

Because I am so intriguing and mysterious, a bunch of people ask me what I actually do during a standard day. I am going to run it down for you so you all can see how I am like a snail that is going to end up in jail or shot.

7:00AM—Alarm rings. Frantically hit snooze.

7:10AM—Wake up, contemplate suicide.

7:11AM—Turn on the Today Show and see how much fun Matt and Meredith are having--Debate career in newscasting.

7:16AM—Watch depressing news stories, go into bathroom to pee/shit, brush teeth, insert contacts, kill 1-3 bugs, and shower.

7:21-7:30AM (depends on how awesome the shower is)—Get fly as shit.

7:40AM—make my way to the T, fending off the intense pressure to get a McGriddle.

7:45AM—Give sexually explicit looks to this cute girl that rides the T at the same time as me. No looks are returned.

7:45-8:25AM—Ride a terrible T ride to South Station, walk to work.

8:30-10:30AM—Sleep with my eyes open, open up two software programs to look like I am doing something, and read every article on every relevant website.

10:30AM—Get a Monster and/or a Red Bull and proceed to get jacked the fuck up.

10:30AM-1:30PM—Use my amped-ness to actually produce before lunch.

1:30PM—Eat some terrible food

2:30PM-2:?PM—Shit/Nap in the bathroom

2:?PM-4:59PM—Regret what I ate for lunch and slowly die until the end of the day. Oh yea, and some meetings, updates, yada, yada.

4:59PM—Put on my old track shoes and sprint as far away from this place as possible.

End of Part One.

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