Friday, March 28, 2014

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And-1 T-Shirts That Took It Too Far, But We Didn't Know They Took It Too Far

Remember And 1 shirts?  They were those novelty basketball shirts that did the shit-talking for you because you were likely too busy missing layups and thinking you were way better than you were.  It made me think about how some of those shirts crossed a couple of lines.  Namely, every single shirt attacked all of your strong female relationships:

This jacked, bald-headed, faceless (he black though), dude is just straight up implying that he already stole your girl.  Like, before even getting on the court and assessing each other's skills, he ended your relationship and convinced her to date him.  That's pretty outlandish and frankly, logistically hard to believe. 

That's a picture of simple assault.  No way around it.  That's a woman getting attacked.  Oh, you want me to think that woman being attacked in the graphic is my mother too?  AND you're implying that her wig quality is piss poor?  This might be the lowest of the low as far as diss shirts go.

Yikes.  Well at least this one isn't attacking my mother or my girlfriend - we're finally making progress.  I'll be honest, if a guy killed me out there and just pointed at this shirt, I'd probably go home.  I wouldn't necessarily "give up" the game, but I'd definitely reevaluate things.  For one, I'd NEVER try to play with that guy again because he's clearly scary and marked his territory all over my carcass.  

"Oh shit, your mom has type-2 diabetes and they had to amputate her right foot, dawg"

"Yeah, I dunked on a kid with a genetic disposition for high cholesterol"

"Your mother has a nice butt and I'd like to have sex with her"

None of these are ok.

This is clearly fake (h/t Collegehumor), but is it really that far off?  Dude wants to eviscerate your soul over a pick up game.  Shooty hoops.  He wants to eat your soul and floss with your hopes and dreams all over some after work exercise.  

With all that said, Hot Sauce just stole this dude's girl and his mother, forced him into retirement and Grim Reaper-style absorbed his soul and left him in a abyss of despair. If he was wearing an And 1 shirt, there was a very good chance that he would be arrested right on the spot.

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