Wednesday, February 18, 2015

// //

Beyonce Is An Actual Real Life Human Being, You Guys!

First off, I may be killed for even writing/having an opinion on this, but Beyonce is officially not a perfect robot with a whimsical combination of hue, glisten, and shine.  She's just a regular, extremely attractive, semi-perfect person with occasional robotic tendencies.  

Needless to say, the Beyhive is not pleased.  Not pleased at all.  And by "not pleased at all", I mean that I'll probably be dead before I hit publish on this and my internet remains will be scattered all over social media as a form of "don't try us" symbolism.  Conversely, I'm pretty sure some members of the Beyhive have sent out the three-skull-emoji salute to indicate that they're "literally dead because they couldn't even right now."  All in all, this is a blood bath with no real winners.

Or, if we are being red 100 emoji with this, Jay-Z is the only loser based solely on this picture:

YAAASS hunny, you BETTER WERK!  Hov is in a crisis, y'all - standing in that "bad betch" Instagram pose that more or less indicates 200 likes or bust.  The Knowles-Carter Foundation is bursting at the seams.  I may never listen to "The Blueprint" again.