Friday, February 20, 2015

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Women Be Shoppin'

It's safe to say that, as a dude, shopping with any type of woman is the worst experience ever.  We know all too well that "I just want to look at this dress" is a cryptic and extremely complex message that essentially means "Your soul belongs to me for the next 2-3 hours."  And you know what?  We go because we're scared, guys.  We're really scared.

In the rare occasion that I have to shop for anything, I either dart into the store and buy it within 5 minutes or have a mild panic attack and become stricken with anxiety for 15 minutes.  In both instances, I'm in and out reasonably quickly.  Everything changes when your mom, girlfriend, friend that's a girl, or sister brings you into a store, though.

Shopping with girls is an adventure akin to one of those "Choose your own fate" Goosebumps books.  Trips filled with plot twists, secret traps, and tough decisions.  Mess around and end up in Narnia if you're not careful.