Monday, April 13, 2015

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The New Black Person Emojis Look Like White Aliens On Non-Updated iPhones, But Progress Is Progress

The second I found out that we had black people emojis, I tried to alert as many people as possible. Also, it finally allowed me to recognize Obama's presidency as an actual "thing."  So you can imagine my shock, sadness, and confusion when everyone responded back to me with "huh?" and "what?"

To my dismay, we did not, in fact, make it.  Contrarily, it revealed that Apple kind of thinks of black people as white aliens.  Not jumping to conclusions, just pointing out facts.  Similar to Jelly Belly jelly bean mathematics, according to the iPhone emoji system, a black emoji with a dark caesar haircut = one white dude with a regular cut + an alien.  

Ipso facto, Steve Jobs always thought black people were just white aliens.  Dude was truly a visionary.  Probably explains that extra muscle in our legs, y'all.  Glad we cleared all that up.

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