Monday, November 30, 2009

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What To Do When You Are Caught Staring??

Women. You say that word to any stranger on the street and they could tell you a tale and a half. They fluster us, make us look and sound stupid, and most of all, embarrass the shit out of us.

I am at the gym minding my own business, trying to get my swell on and put a few shots up when this girl comes by to disrupt my flow. I've determined a really good/creative name for this type of girl: a disruptor. She's plays the real life equivalent to that big ass pog that's only role was the fuck shit up. The disruptor is generally really really hot and wears clothes you know he mama wouldn't let her wear to the gym. She walks by and I start sweating. Keep in mind, it's like 49 degrees in the gym.

Everywhere I walk I somehow ended up in her path doing that "are you going right, because I am going left, wait you're going left? Shit I better go right" awkward thing. I'm flabbergasted by what's just happened here. I walked over to the dumbbell section to get away and regroup. The girl is on the other side touching her toes in my direction. What's a fella to do? I mistakenly stared until I burnt a hole in her butt. Again, I am flabbergasted and beside myself, so I don't realize that she is seeing me staring in the mirror. Here's where I pull the "Diddy." I stand there and keep staring. If I walk away that means she wins right? What? God dammit. She had kind of a blank stare on her face as I got the hell of there. It was more of a "I just saw a car crash" look. I proceeded to the locker room, put my clothes on in 17 seconds and turned my Usain Bolt on.

Needless to say, I am going back to the gym tomorrow to stare again...

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