Wednesday, May 21, 2014

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This Kid Just Stole Your Girlfriend

You know that girl that you've been in a relationship with for awhile?  Yeah, hide her.  I don't care where.  Just make sure that she has no access to the internet and doesn't hop on to WMD.  Oh, who am I kidding, who can resist WMD?  Your girl is about to be robbed by this swaggerific future gigolo.

The first time that I wore a suit was one of the worst days of my life.  And that is why I have no swag.  This kid is miles ahead of the game right now.  Sure, it'll lead to countless illegitimate children and a couple curable STDs, but hey, what a ride.  Dance on, little man.  Dance on.