Wednesday, May 28, 2014

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I'm The Boston Tickler! Just Kidding, But Not Really

If you've been living under a rock, you would have missed the startling news that a serial tickler is ravaging Boston College campus.  Now I'm not saying that there is a direct correlation between there being a tickler on my alma mater's campus and the fact that my college reunion is this weekend, but I feel like people are giving me the shifty eyes out here.  I mean look at this chicanery:

Granted, breaking and entering into people's homes solely to tickle them is definitely my M.O., but I wouldn't be dumb enough to get seen.  Come on now, bruh.  You're breaking into homes dressed in Mark Cuban's black people uniform of dark clothes and a hoody and you think you're not scaring people.  Add some pizzazz to this shit.  Dress like a Power Ranger or Count Chocula.  Make it more about what you're dressed as than what you're doing.

I'm just saying, this is what I would do IF I was the Tickler.  Not that I AM the Tickler.  Just pointing out that these two things are a big difference, FBI.