Friday, September 13, 2013

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Reason #10230 Why I Can't Have A Daughter

Hmm, psycho gremlin daughter stealing my iPhone 5CS fingerprints so she could invade my phone and try to sext with all of her friends?  Nah, I'm good.  And yes, I think kids will be sexting in Elementary School within the next 20 years.  We already have baby DJs, it's not far-fetched.

You know what a son would do?  He'd take the phone out of daddy's hand and drop it in the toilet.  That's what boys do.  We're idiots.  Louis C.K. said it best, "Boys do monetary damage and girls damage your soul."  Mom is in on this too.  Just a legion of women fucking with dad while he's napping.  Guess what, Mom?  That girl is going to grow up and go on a date with an idiot boy.  Then what?  All we do is break stuff, look for ass and then settle down.  That's our M.O.  Looks like there aren't too many protection options aside from home school, locking her in the basement (finished basement, of course) or killing tons of idiot boys.  I'm fine with all three of those options.  

Boys will sometimes punch each other in the face for no reason.  I've done it and it's happened to me.  We're stupid.  A girl will find out what hurts someone most and use that to their advantage later on because they're crazy.  Mind assassins.

PS. I'm going to undoubtedly have 3-5 smoking hot daughters with no morals whatsoever. 

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