Friday, January 31, 2014

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Mexico Can't Find All Of Their Gross Water Monsters So They Are Probably Here Now

Hey guy, what's your deal?  You're like a combination of every animal's worst feature, yet you somehow look really pleased with yourself.  Shit's admirable.

Ugh. Mexico can you please, for once, get your shit together.  I feel like we have to tell you this every 6 months or so.  Whether it's swine flu or rogue water salamander birds, we always have to check you guys when you get out of pocket.

Important question: What do you do if this thing just rolls up on you?  First things first, I'd give it all of my money and credit cards.  Let it know that I'm down to comply with any and all demands.  Next play is your choice.  Personally, I'm folding immediately.  If it wants to lick my face, it can lick my face.  Maybe that's because I'm a bitch, but you walk your own plank.

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