These Suspicious Ass Pants Are Really Putting A Damper On My Weekend

Hey Pants, get off my back, man.  Yeah, I had a couple of beers last night, that's no reason to give me that look.  That skeptical "I don't know what you're doing" look that makes you automatically feel like an asshole. 

If you can't trust pants, who can you trust anymore?  Family?  Friends?  Pfft.  Everything begins and ends with what my pants think about my choices and if that bond is broken, the world is officially flipped on it's head.