Friday, January 31, 2014

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Why Acura is the Worst Car of All

I've conducted an unscientific study that revealed 80% of Acura drivers are jerkfaces. According to the data, Acura drivers are more likely to:

1. Cut fools off

2. Tailgate

3. Fail to signal an uncontrolled left turn

4. Refuse to abide stop signs

What's behind this shitbaggery?

Primarily, an Acura is like fourth-string luxury. Consider that first strings include Rolls Royce and Bentley, your basic $400,000 vehicle, while Mercedes-Benz and BMW are second string, lower-priced model Mercedes-Benz and BMW are third strings. As we've known since like 1989, Acura is just a more expensive Honda. So they've got something to prove.

And who can forget the apology Acura had to issue after its casting call for a "not too dark" African American actor?

Famous Acura-Driving Assholes*:

Tom Cruise
Larry Ellison (from Oracle -
Joe Montana
Charlie Sheen
Vanilla Ice (shocker)
Suze Orman
Scottie Pippen
Mark Zuckerberg

*Can't guarantee they haven't sold it

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