Wednesday, December 12, 2012

// //

Apparently Burning Yourself While Ironing Is Becoming An Epidemic

First we had SARS and then there was Bird Flu. Then gross ass pigs joined the party and Swine Flu was invented. Now we have reached the next stop on the CDC disaster train that is Being-An-Idiot-And-Burning-Yourself-With-An-Iron Flu. Very tragic. I'm a survivor and currently afflicted, so it brings me great sorrow to present another semi-equally terrible case Iron Flu.

The first sign that you might be getting sick is when you start getting real cocky while ironing. I'm talking no-look, steam filling the room type of antics. When it happened to me, I put my TV remote right next to the iron and reached for it without looking. That resulted in a life-threatening 14th degree burn on my pinky. This guy was in the same situation. Except instead of flipping between Homeland and Sunday Night Football, he confused his cell phone for the iron and scorched off half his face while leaving an undoubtedly hilarious iron imprint. Just know, this could have happened to any of you. Maybe it's a sign to start dry cleaning. Maybe it's time to visit a neurologist to determine if you have a problem distinguishing the weight of an iron and the weight of a cell phone. I don't know. All I do know is that I've listened to "Survivor" by Destiny's Child like 11 times and it hasn't gotten close to being old yet.


0 Reactions to this post

Add Comment

Post a Comment