Friday, December 28, 2012

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Woman Charged With Attempted Murder For Nearly Motorboating Her Boyfriend To Death

Everyone is going to jump on this guy's back and act like he's some big prude or something. Nah, I feel your plight, bro. I can't say I have been in this situation, but I have gotten into some high stakes pillow fights when I was younger and soft suffocation is probably the worst way to go.

Look at that cleavage. Where does it end? A centimeter down? All the way down at that bottom of your monitor? I don't know and frankly, that scares me. Imagine the hell it must be to find yourself trapped betwixt two never-ending bosoms with no possible way out. I'd have this bitch arraigned too if she tried to pull this shit. Can't even begin to think how this guy escaped either. Based on my calculations, there's like a 75% chance you can end up in Narnia if you make a wrong turn on Quadrant 1, Section 2b of the right boob.

PS. Is it bad that I still don't really have a grasp of what breast size actually means? 38DD just sounds like a Battleship move to me.

PPS. Bro, I still kinda know what you look like:

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