Tuesday, December 4, 2012

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As Much As I Don't Want To Admit It, This Is Extremely Accurate

God dammit, internet. You can't go a day without dropping something ridiculous on all of our retinas, huh? None of you understand what life is like for the 6,703rd ranked internet blogger on the planet. It's not all "pray an awesome Youtube video popped up today" or "check every news website for a stupid story." No rainbows and gumdrops here. Sometimes you see an absurd, yet semi-accurate picture of the original Super Mario Brothers and it's relatability to how relationships develop and you have no choice but to post it.

Well shit, whoever just dropped the proverbial Microsoft Paint mic just spoke the realest stuff ever. Alcohol is the Stockton to every relationship's Malone. Alcohol finds the crease (inhibitions) in the defense (the guy/girl) and allows you to get to the basket (making out or whatever you new-age hoodrats do these days). You'll be hard-pressed to find a relationship out there that was not assisted by alcohol. It doesn't have to be "take someone home" level, but it definitely breaks the ice for both parties and lets them breathe a little bit. Hell, I think I talked about Harry Potter, Pokemon and my ability to burp professionally on my last first date. If neither party had a drink that night, I would have been left at the restaurant and not with that person now because Pikachu, Horcruxes and oral flatulence ain't fly. So I guess, thanks, alcohol? And bigger...thanks, Microsoft Paint oracle?

Most of us wouldn't be where we are in our relationships/even exist without alcohol. Let's not even sugar coat it.

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  1. FFW said... December 4, 2012 at 11:31 PM

    Word. I once got with,a guy because I felt like getting him hammered and taking advantage of him, just because I was curious.

    We've been together 18 years, and 493 screwdrivers.

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