Thursday, December 20, 2012

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Hottest Kids Toys For The Holiday Season

A new year, a new way to shame your kids because you don't have a grasp on society. It's ok, I have a blog and I say shit on it that's occasionally helpful. Plus I was a kid like 20 years ago, so I'm basically tapped into what today's children like. Let Dub lead the way, parents.

Gift Idea 1) Pee and Poo

So many "I'm the shit" and "Shittin' on y'all" jokes to be had with this duo. The pee is clearly the Robin to the poo's Batman, but an unstoppable combo nonetheless. Borderline must-have.

Gift Idea 2) Blippy, aka Fucking Blippy

Took creative control with the name a bit there, but as you can see, this is the perfect toy if you have a bad-ass kid. One of those assholes that doesn't even try to listen. Wrap Blippy's ass up in a box and watch discipline levels soar off the charts.

Gift Idea 3) Gutfish

In the terrible event that you can't afford "Operation." The "Safety School" of gifts.

Gift Idea 4) Stuffed STDs

Exactly why herpes is designed to look like the sun is beyond me. And what's the fuckin' deal with Chlamydia? These mysteries are EXACTLY why this toy is hot bananas right now. Parents can teach with nonsensical characters and make their kids absolutely terrified about having sex. I'm buying 100 for the daughter I don't have yet.

See you Friday, Mayans.

8 Reactions to this post

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