Tuesday, April 23, 2013

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Do You Honestly Think This Virtually Unchanged 14 Year Old McDonald's Burger Is Going To Scare Me?

If you answered "Yes", you win.  You win big because I'm fucking terrified.  I could literally eat that burger right now, knowing that it's 14 years old and the pickle has apparently disintegrated.


Let that sink in for a second.  Now think about all the McDonald's that you've eaten in your life.  There was a period where I sometimes ate Mcdonald's 2-3 times a day because it was there.  Proximity is the sole reason why I have indigestible "meat" and "bread" sitting in my loins as I type this.  Maybe I'm stronger because of it and have some gross ass super power.  Maybe I have a powerful tapeworm living in me.  Who knows.  All I know is that I'm scared.  I'm not scared of the burger's longevity, I'm scared that I still want McDonald's and this burger in particular.

I'm not even hungry and I could eat that burger right now.  Just some really sad and surreal shit going on in WMD HQ right now.

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