Wednesday, April 10, 2013

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Tragedy Strikes As Elephant Suffers Gunshot Wounds In Drive-By Shooting

It's official: nothing in this world is sacred anymore.  We just shot an elephant, ya'll. In a drive-by shooting nonetheless.  Fucking Mississippi, man.  Like 18 years late in the drive-by game and not even shooting the right species.

Let's talk about the elephant though.  It could NOT have been thrilled about the tour making a stop in Tupelo, Miss.  Just like, "Aw shit, something bad will probably happen to me here."  Low and behold, it got drive-by'd.  Granted, it's an elephant and a drive-by shooting ends up being a minor inconvenience, but it's the principle.  Plus this thing has like 18 bodyguards surrounding it and couldn't even get a little bit of protection.

T-Minus 36 hours until Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are raining fire all over Mississippi for elephant-related hate crime.

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