Monday, January 28, 2013

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Iran Sends Its First Monkey Into Space. In Other News, Why Do People Still Send Monkeys Into Space?

^AIDSiest monkey ever?

I'm on the platform that monkeys are nowhere near as smart as we make them out to be. It starts and stops with, "Throws own feces." The day they learn to control that shit (so intended) is the day, they can get into the conversation.

If you trained me for 15-20 years, gave me 200 space-simulations and actually sent me into space 2-4 times, I STILL wouldn't know what the fuck I was doing up there. You're telling me this homely looking, beat to all hell monkey can figure it out? I'm pretty sure the "mission" can be labeled as "Fail" when this thing is tasked to "Press a button. Any button." You know why? Because they can't read and have a baseline understanding of visual and audible stimuli. Plus this monkey has AIDS, for sure.

I was really expecting more out of Iran. Lol, Iran.

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  1. Anonymous said... January 28, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    Nice work.

    -John Stossel.

  2. Anonymous said... August 1, 2018 at 7:00 AM

    Okay, and for the next, send a lion up there..for no reason but curiosity

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