Tuesday, February 12, 2013

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Why Kate Upton Is Very Similar To Steve Nash

Withering, lesbian-looking, Laker point guard versus the possibly overweight, big boobed, Kate Upton. Certainly an outlandish post on my part, but everything will start to make sense very shortly.

Let's start with my power statement: Why Kate Upton is very similar to Steve Nash. I should have been clearer here, but I'm actually referring to the Steve Nash MVP years of '04-'05 and '05-'06. Let's all be honest here, Steve Nash should NOT have won back to back MVPs and we can also be honest that Kate Upton's boobs should NOT have gotten back to back SI Swimsuit covers. Don't get me wrong, I love Nash and mammary glands. One can run the pick and roll to perfection and the others are boobs, but we have to call a spade a spade.

As soon as this happened:

Steve's future MVP opportunities should have been null and void. No offense, but Kobe maybe, possibly, impregnated your mouth there. Granted, Nash put up better stats his 2nd MVP year, but they still paled in comparison to LeBron, Dirk, and Kobe. The voters were just backed into an "Aw shit" corner and had to stay consistent. Shame.

Similarly, as soon as this happened:

and Nina Agdal happened:

Kate Upton should have been relegated to page 43 in the Body Suit section where she can be allowed to flourish. Don't throw a girl that clearly didn't put in the work during the offseason on the cover. She rested on her past successes and got rewarded for getting worse at her craft while a spry up and comer got screwed. Nina, we know how it should have gone, girl.

But never forget: