Friday, February 15, 2013

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Are Slush Puddles The Worst Things In The World?

^you are a god damn liar if you have any type of clue how deep this is

Today was a pretty glorious day in the city of Boston.  First and foremost, the "Today Show" was in the city and I will probably non-violently stalk Savannah Guthrie later, but it was also 50 degrees outside.  If you live on the east coast you know that anything above 5 degrees could be considered a win for that day.  While it's a win, it also means that all the snow we got from that asshole Nemo is going to melt everywhere. With that said, there is nothing in the entire world worse than a fucking quality slush puddle.

Ranging from 1cm to possibly 7ft deep, slush puddles plague large metropolis areas that tend to pile snow on the corners of streets as a temporary solution to the road accessibility.  Because of this we lose (probably) 10-20 pedestrians per year to slush puddle related irritability.  It's bird poop and slush puddles on the Mount Rushmore of things that can automatically ruin your day.  The kings of their domain.  One is fecal matter and one is a slooshy, wet noodle of a sock and a "I don't know what was in that water, but my ankle is really itchy" fear to carry you through the day.  I haven't stepped outside yet because I'm trying to scale out the best route to avoid these things, but I'm just issuing a public service warning to those with small children and pets.  They could die out there.  Especially if they're black.  You know we can't swim.

Be safe ya'll.

PS. Actually I think bird poop is worse: