Monday, January 7, 2013

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No Biggie, Just A Cat With Multiple Handsaws, Drill Heads And A Cellphone Attached To Its Body Trying To Infiltrate A Maximum Security Prison In Brazil

Um, well, what did you do with your weekend? Have a couple drinks, watch some football and maybe hangout with friends? All of that seemed pretty solid until you read this story about this cat. Now your weekend sucked.

He could have just sat around and did normal cat things like he was supposed to. Hell, if I was a cat, I'd be ok with laying around, licking myself and purring all damn day. Not this cat. This motherfucker wanted, for some reason, to aide and abet hundreds of hardened criminals in one of the world's most dangerous countries. I'm not saying what this cat did was right, but I can't help but respect it. To have the dexterity to use AND rip tape and apply like 13 relatively dangerous things to its body is impressive. And don't get on your high horse and start thinking this cat had someone tape this stuff to him. This reeks of a one man rogue operation. The only thing that went wrong was the fact that it's a cat and that it had several handsaws, drills and prepaid cellphones attached to its body. Other than that small issue, A+ job.

PS. Are drills, handsaws, and prepaid phones the Holy Trinity of "Things you Need in Prison?" I may replace the drills with a rope in the event that I had to get on my Rapunzel shit.

PPS. Yup

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  1. Anonymous said... January 7, 2013 at 1:21 PM

    It's a good thing the guards found the cat, because if a prisoner had to rip the tape off of that thing, I can only imagine the pain the cat would be in...

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