Monday, February 24, 2014

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Guys, Coconut Crabs Are A Thing

Remember back in the day when a raccoon would go into your trash can and that would be a minor inconvenience?  Those days are gone now and we have to start investigating ideas on how to exit Earth because coconut crabs have effectively taken over the planet.

This begs the question: what happened to the raccoons?  Were they pushed off their turf "The Wire" style?  Or, more likely, were they brutally eaten by these monster robot crabs?  Either way, the suburban trash can game belongs to the crabs now.  In fact, I think our houses belong to the crabs now.  These things basically went from non-existant to digging in our trash cans in the span of 24 hours.  Not good.

If they become one ounce more self-aware it's time to send an email to Lance Bass to find out if he has room in that spaceship he was meaning to fly out in 2005.  I'm sure the N'Sync money isn't flowing like I used to, so if we all pitch in a little bit we can get out of here.

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