Wednesday, September 26, 2012

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7-Up And Duck-Duck-Goose Were Social Decision Makers

(I guess 7-Up was a black game?)

Were you a cool kid? I bet we'd all like to say yes, but there was no set way to determine whether or not you were a respected individual. Sure you could have been smart, funny, and athletic, but nothing set the bar for cool more definitively than 7-Up and Duck-Duck-Goose.

No one wanted to be the kid left assed-out in the middle of the war zone that was 7-Up. Seeing everyone giggle and make jokes at the end was the worst feeling when you slowly thought to yourself, "Was I the only one that didn't get his thumb tapped?" Obviously you can play the "I was sleep, I wouldn't have felt it anyway" card, but that's just desperate and sad. It just means you have to go home, work on picking up social cues/norms and get 'em next time. A young Dub J saw both sides. Sometimes I was always picked and ran the show like a the cool kid in a Disney movie. Other times I had the coldest, most unattended to thumb in the room. Faked many a nap during the thumb tap drought of '95. If your kid isn't getting picked in 7-Up by the 5th grade, you may have a dud.

Duck-Duck-Goose was basically a game of "Do I like you?", "Do I really know you?", and "Do I hate you?" Nothing more, nothing less. If people liked you, they picked you and everyone had a blast. You never picked anyone you didn't know because you can't run the risk of picking a loose cannon or an impossibly clumsy kid. And sometimes you picked people you hated because you knew they hated running and were too slow to catch anyone. Again, I have been in all 3 spots. As a liked individual, you pick your best friends and chicks you had crushes on--it was as solid a time as a youth could have for 10 minutes. When I wasn't known, it was just a roll of the dice. If I got picked, an olive branch of friendship and interaction was extended and if I wasn't I'd complain to my mom that everyone hated me. And lastly, if I was hated, DDG could easily turn into a fight. When the wrong person picks you at the wrong time and you collide, fists could very well be thrown. I'm like 3-2 in DDG related fights. Some embarrassing Ls.

This blog may have been completely obvious to most of you, but if I could let just one person out there know they were the class weirdo, uncool pariah when they thought they were the shit, I did my job.

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  1. Jordan Anderson said... September 26, 2012 at 8:23 PM

    I went through my drought in 97'... The first school year in which I began wearing glasses. You know, the ones that should of came with a snorkel. I'm almost positive Harry Potter wouldn't even of wore them as a young member of Gryffindor. I think I finally got picked later in the year, after roughly 25-30 sanctioned rounds. I was feeling like Aaron Rodgers in the 05' draft... But my time came.

  2. Dub Jeezy said... September 26, 2012 at 9:07 PM

    one of the great comments to grace this site.

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