Babies Aren't So Bad After All

Once you get past the lack of sleep, constant contact with poop and urine, random crying, spontaneous vomiting, no quality time with your significant other and utter hatred of people without kids, babies aren't too terrible.

Most of the time they're cute and give you an entirely new sense of responsibility. Add in the fact that you can use them to mop up your mess and their value has increased nearly ten-fold. I mean, they crawl around all day anyway, right? Why not have them learn work ethic and responsibility literally from day one?

I know what you're thinking: Germs. And my response is: Do you see that baller-ass suit this chubby Asian baby has on? That shit just screams hypo-allergenic. Spill all the red wine and apple juice you want now that you have a live-action liquid Roomba in your house.

...Just kidding, this looks like baby slavery. Which is adorably/hilariously cruel.