Wednesday, September 19, 2012

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Guys, Which One Sucks More?

The Unusable Pencil:
-No worse feeling in middle school then sharpening your pencil and seeing one half lead, one half wood. The most annoying conundrum to ever afflict an 11 year old. Do I use my finger to brush that excess wood down or do I just tell Mom to stop with the cheap shit and buy some Papermate mechanical pencils?

Perforated Line Disaster:
We've all been here. Fun fact, I did this with my SAT. Just fucked it up right off the bat. Should have received a zero on the spot because "tearing the test" is essentially Question 1. All in all, I persevered and became a successful blogger with tons of fake internet money and a bright future.

I would throw 4 pairs of shoes in this thing's direction and if I found out that it wasn't killed I'd have to take some extreme measures. Leave the house, burn the house, rip my Social Security Card, buy a ticket to the Dominican Republic, open a Frozen Yogurt shop and forget about my past life.

There's a Little Left:
A test of human will. You know that you're straight up out of toothpaste, but you will break your wrist to get just a little sliver. That sliver won't be enough to clean your teeth, but dammit, you won. You survived another day without plague, gingivitis, but you know your breath is still disgusting. Willpower. Humanity. Spirit.

That bug is fucking terrifying. 1046 legs is never the move.

Thanks to Holy Taco.

2 Reactions to this post

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  1. Internet Goon said... September 20, 2012 at 3:38 PM

    I haven't commented since you changed that feature some time ago. I loved being lazy and just picking different shit. But back to this, that creature/bug/dragon thingy is the scariest thing on this planet. And what's worst is that it would just disappear after failed attempts at killing it. I might have nightmares because of this.

  2. Dub Jeezy said... September 21, 2012 at 9:55 AM

    i fully believe that they can take over the world if they really wanted to.

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