Thursday, September 3, 2009

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College Football Without Cable...

Yes, I am fully aware that college football is starting today, because I am a man and that shit is wired into our internal clock. This guy doesn't need crazy things like television and internet to let inform him about the best season in all of sports. While I don't need it, I sure as hell want it bad. Not having my cable game on point has exposed several flaws who I am. I bite my nails a bunch, I fart like the dickens (into a very absorbent chair, might I add), and I drink a shit ton of juice. All of these things are commonplace when you have a television and internet to distract you, but when you have neither, these things become both the highs and lows of your day.

Ok, back to college football and strategically short and top-cut school t-shirts. Your wonderfully awesome blog stud (me) attended THE Boston College University. You know, the football powerhouse that is routinely making appearances in the best BCS bowls and the school that is packed with diehard fans and the hottest girls (our girls kick the shit out of those girls from FSU up there). Ahh, and then I woke up.

While I did attend Boston College, none of anything I said after that is remotely true. We are the type of squad that the working man embodies. No spectacular players, rarely packed stadiums, and decent looking women wearing unaltered t-shirts. Boston College football just screams America, like a pair of muddy Wranglers. With that said, I am looking forward to watching all of those manufactured teams (starting September 8th, when Comcast gets off their lazy asses), like Florida and USC. Sureeee, you make it to national championships games, have the wildest campuses/hottest girls in the country, and generally provide a great time to all parties involved, but you guys are like that hot girl at the bar with no confidence. Everything gets delivered to you (UF & USC), but on the inside you are just a lonely girl with no true friends who will die alone with 23 cats.

As you can tell, I am a little steamed about not having fucking cable.

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  1. PostScripter said... September 3, 2009 at 8:20 PM

    dubJeez, you wanna borrow a few DVDs or something?

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