Friday, September 18, 2009

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What Grinds My Gears: Part Deux

You want to know what really gets my gears a grindin'? Prolonged "associate "interaction, that's what. Let me describe to you all what I mean. You ever have that person (in my case my job orientation colleague) in your life that you aren't friends with, but were apart of a similar experience? Whether it be a classmate you got assigned to sit next to or the guy that keeps bumpin' into your desk every 15 minutes on the god damn hour, you know THIS guy. This guy is an associate. He's convinced he is your friend and he conveniently has the exact same path home as you.

The associate character is most likely significantly less cool than you are, which leads to many one-sided awkward (he thinks you are enjoying his side of the conversation) interactions. I'm going to call Guinness informing them that the record of "Most Shut the Fuck Ups Said In One's Head" got shattered today on the T ride home. It was a David and Goliath match-up in terms of coolness on the T..and no, David's pansy ass did not come close to winning. Said character has been in my orientation group (my job is like college) throughout the week and he made drugged up assumption that I was his boy. I've been repeatedly thwarting all of his attempts at social interaction.

Assoch: "Hey man, want to get lunch?"

Me: "Nah, eh...I don't eat lunch...?

Assoch (confused but accepting): "That's cool man, I'll catch you when you start eating lunch. HAHAHAHHAHAHA"

Me (mentally): "SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSOCH"

The T ride is where I lose all of my quick witted excuses and abilities to avoid contact. It is a 5 stop tour of hell. He asks me what I am doing tonight, I respond with, "probably hanging out, maybe hit up a bar or two", he retorts, "Yea man, we are getting a few kegs, my friends are comin' by and we may have some other people over." A few kegs assoch? For a few friends that you undeniably don't have? Sounds fishy. Anyways, this guy proceeds to explain to me how he parties harder than Hugh Hefner and the Girls Gone Wild Guy. After seriously contemplating homicide, mass homicide, and suicide, I decided to get off one stop early.

My gears were starting to chip.

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  1. PostScripter said... September 18, 2009 at 7:14 PM

    HAHAHA, I don't eat lunch. hahaha

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