Monday, September 7, 2009

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Splinter Gave Up On Trying to Teach Turtles How to Be Ninjas

I have seen some rats and I've seen some rat like things in my day, but this one truly disgusts me. From seeing this picture I can make so many assumptions about this mega-rat that I know are true. First one being that this guy is tired. Look at it. It has an indifferent look about being handled by a strange man of a different species. Fella is just happy to be off it's feet. Second assumption I am going to make is that this is not a fast creature. I can't see this guy slyly sneaking away after I find him rummaging through the garbage. It'll be a long drawn out process of it struggling to reach the top and clumsily plopping on the ground, waddling away and squeezing into a very undersized rat hole. Sad really. Good thing I didn't see this during my childhood because this tubby bastard would have ruined Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for me.

I can see exactly how it would have played out.

"Mommy, why is splinter fat, tired, and geniunely disinterested with living?"

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