Wednesday, February 10, 2010

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Is 22 The Point Where The Body Decides To Mail It In?



It just hit me today, when I was having a fireside chat with my immune system. They basically told me that they've started taking plays off out there. Pretty much, within one hour, I breathed in and felt something wasn't right. Minutes later I got a sour throat. Seconds following that, I was coughing up a lung and my index finger was bleeding because I aggressively tried to rip open a Rice Krispy Treat. It's like c'mon. You can't take god damn plays off out there immune system.

I take two vitamins a day, I work out at a regular clip, and participate in sports leagues year round. Two weeks ago, one of my toenails (big toe) was pitch black. Literally dead. Next morning I tried to put on my socks (NOTE: this gets gross) and heard a slight crack noise. I took off the sock and realized my toenail was gone. Just plopped right off. Hmm. This bridges me into what happened tonight. My left toenail (big toe), seemingly in good health, just decided to come off too. This one wasn't pitch black, so the gumshoes were of no help to me in this situation. I'm a big ball of concern and confusion. Like, why are my toenails coming off and why do I get violent flu-like symptoms within minutes. I saw this shit happen once. It was in the movie "The Fly" starring the immortal Jeff Goldblum. Am I turning into a fucking bug? Or is it a wrap for me. I'd rather be like a scorpion or a praying mantis, but I'm cool with being the gigantic, still somehow studly, fly on the wall.

On the real though, I think work league basketball is the main cause. In the span of four game minutes, I was bleeding from my lip, got undercut and fell very hard on my back, and bumped knees with someone extremely hard. I think my cerebellum is crashing too. My balance and coordination is just haywire.

Needless to say, I need to see some progression on this toenail growth, or I am probably going to die.

Happy Blogging Everyone!!!

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  1. Spellgirl said... February 10, 2010 at 3:45 PM

    Or you're like that guy that got infected in "District 9"... in which case, I'm going to have to say good-bye to this blogship now. I can't relive that movie.

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