Monday, August 5, 2013

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Smeesh's Monday Musings: Our Pets' Heads are Falling Off

It's Monday morning again. Well, shit.

Our weekend ritual of binge drinking to forget the work week is over. Alcohol has been consumed, shit has gotten weird, and state fairs have been attended (by Dub at least). But don't start off working too hard this week or you'll strain something. Take a few minutes, kick back, and tap on your keyboard so your boss at least thinks you're working.


Without further ado here are Smeesh’s Monday Musings, your Monday morning time-killer, good/bad/ugly style:

The Good - Puppies. Because I'll be damned if this isn't exactly what I needed to start the week. It's okay to admit you need it to start the week too. Let's be in this together.

The Bad - Alex Rodriguez. Need I say more? Yanks detractors and baseball purists alike will rejoice when A-Rod's lengthy suspension (thought to be rest of this year and all of the next) is handed down. The Yankee third baseman's struggles with performance enhancing drugs have been well documented (namely he can't stop cheating) and many people believe this will be the final chapter in the lengthy career of a talented star turned much-maligned fraud. But hey, if he's healthy when the suspension is handed down (which is likely) he's guaranteed the $34.2 million left on his contract. So I think he'll be fine.

In other news, A-Rod has once again successfully defended his crown in the "Most Punchable Face in Major League Baseball" competition, bringing his reign to an unprecedented 19 years.

The Ugly - I was right. And you assholes said I was lying. As I so sagely predicted on Friday, we're staring at the business end of a shark land invasion. Boats are being attacked in Africa, Snuffy the Seal was taken from us moments after his rescue, our pets heads are falling off. This whole thing is going downhill fast.

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