Monday, August 12, 2013

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Smeesh's Monday Musings: Straight Fire Flames

Another weekend come and gone. As I type this post I can't breathe. Not sure whether it's my murderous allergies or the weakened state of my immune system thanks to a weekend in Ocean City, Maryland. Probably some combination of the two. Oh well. 

So let's get back to it. Only 5 more days til next weekend, folks, and we all know the right first step to help get us there. Without further ado here are Smeesh’s Monday Musings, your Monday morning time-killer, good/bad/ugly style:

The Good - I was late on the EDM train. Was one of those guys who thought it sounded less like music and more like robots in a gladiator-style battle royale to the death. Victor Niglio is changing my mind though. So what if he looks like Rafi from The League's white cousin? Everything the guy touches is straight fire flames. Saw him at the Starlight Ballroom in Philly a few weeks back and have been bumping his stuff ever since. You can check out his SoundCloud here.

The Bad - This 1967 KFC commercial is the stuff of nightmares.

What the actual fuck was that? Leaving aside the fact that each and every woman in this commercial looks like she came directly from the set of "Gremlins" this is still scary as hell. It looks like the torture is gonna start any minute now; Colonel Sanders' voice is the creepiest thing this side of a Uwe Boll movie; and I'm positive the camera they used is primarily employed making snuff films.

Also, the Colonel's face at the end = Never sleeping again. 

The Ugly - Some chick in Florida spent time the other day panhandling. Not unusual in itself. But Christina Andrews was looking for money to fund breast implants. And I gotta say I can't knock the hustle either.

Put yourself in Christina's shoes. You could spend your weekend off watching Family Feud re-runs, not making any money, and dreaming about how much better life would be with a new pair of silicone sweater puppies (Is sweater puppies a great nickname for boobs or the greatest nickname for boobs?). OR you could roll up your sleeves, make a sign, and start turning your dream into a reality.

P.S. Why does shit like this always happen in Florida? Never change, Florida, never change.

Follow me @SmeeshWMD

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