Friday, January 22, 2010

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How Many Mulligans Can You Use In One Acting Career?

I remember reenacting the “People’s Elbow” in the schoolyard. There are several home videos of me “Rock-Bottoming” smaller cousins left and right. I can assure you that there will never be any footage or recording of me emulating anything that Dwayne Johnson has done post-wrestling. He’s allegedly coming out with a movie called the Tooth Fairy today. When I saw the preview, I thought it was a joke, albeit not a funny joke. You know, something along the lines of a “Funny-Or-Die” skit. To my surprise this morning, this movie was really being released. The People’s Champ is on a downward spiral similar to Eddie Murphy. Do you know where Eddie Murphy has been the last 2 years?? Neither do I.

I feel like these movies are cries for help. The Rock is screaming to his former fan base, “I made a terrible decision leaving wrestling at the peak of mine and the sports’ career. Please someone save me.” It’s very uncomfortable to see him follow that same path. What path you ask? The Disney, Disney, Mummy, bad action movie, Disney, repeat path. Vince McMahon--if you are reading this--please throw a dog a bone and let The Rock come back to the WWE. I’ll start watching again, and other bros and bro-like figures will flip to the USA network every now and then on Monday nights again. I won’t stand for this anymore. All these roody poo, candy-ass, jabroni movies they are roping you into Rock is pretty much setting the (return) oven at 400 degrees.

If all goes well, dinner will be ready in a couple of months and we will again SMELLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK…IS COOKIN’.

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