Batman has the Joker. Superman has Lex Luthor. Mario has Bowser. Everyone has an arch-nemesis out there. Mine happens to be an inanimate cheeseburger with onion rings and barbeque sauce.
Let’s break this down, seeing as I probably don’t have much time left on my life clock. Without knowing it, I engaged in what I’d like to call a “Rodeo-Burger-A-Thon.” It is as you guessed it--a personal challenge to myself to see how many of those bastard burgers I can eat before passing out or suffering through cardiac arrest. I don’t know why I chose today of all days, but the stars aligned and I had a table with a stable of enemies. Burger three I got woozy as hell and was starting to lose sense of reality. I later powered onto burger four, and needless to say, the last 3.5 hours have been a mash-up of a blur, brief PTSD moments involving the burgers, and gummy bears. No I don’t know why the best remedy for whatever was happening to me was gummy bears, but I ran with it.
While not medically possible, I think I’ve given myself an enlarged heart. It’s working so hard to balance out the cholesterol, the sugar, the random espresso shot (?), and my overall will to not be at work.
Is the Rodeo Burger the ultimate chad-bro-chill food? I can only see a grilled stuffed burrito competing for that title. If my memory serves me correctly, I was part of a fictional gang in high school called JMFB (don’t ask) and our “signature food item” (I swear I wasn’t a nerd, I played sports!) was the rodeo burger. We were the only ones able to rep the rodeo burger unless otherwise noted. All of sudden, for like 8 months, they took the rodeo burger off the menu. It was like we all lost a friend. We couldn’t look at a Burger King without our stomachs growling and our belts loosening. That shows the staying power of the sandwich with not only me, but many other people’s hearts. It’s like when the Green Ranger was the Power Ranger’s enemy, but they still cared about him and wanted the best for him…err something.
Before I pass out drunk off Rodeo Burger grease and BBQ residue, I want to say that I will forever have a love-hate relationship with this sandwich. I care too much, but I can never commit.
Rodeo Burger, you are my Buggaboo. Destiny’s Child, take us away!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(
Atom
)
Support The Blog
WMsDiary On Twitter
What's Hot This Week
-
-CNN Reports: Boston Resident, 21, rearranged an entire weight room, killing 6 innocent bystanders. In general, I have always been a physica...
-
Immediately following my quitting of work yesterday, two of my main bros and I made the pilgrimage to the great times mecca known as New Yor...
-
Never seen a dude killing the scene like Charlie is right now. Each day I get a new favorite quote from this guy. First one was, "I...
-
Sniper on the roof! But seriously, did he die in that second .gif? I think he did. Who can blame him, though? He took a line ...
-
Probably the best high for about 95% of the time until it suddenly and inexplicably stops working right at the end of the 4th quarter da...
The Old Stuff
-
2019
(
14
)
- December ( 1 )
- November ( 2 )
- October ( 1 )
- September ( 2 )
- July ( 1 )
- June ( 1 )
- May ( 1 )
- April ( 2 )
- March ( 1 )
- February ( 1 )
- January ( 1 )
-
2018
(
13
)
- November ( 1 )
- October ( 1 )
- September ( 1 )
- August ( 1 )
- July ( 2 )
- June ( 1 )
- May ( 1 )
- April ( 1 )
- March ( 1 )
- February ( 1 )
- January ( 2 )
-
2017
(
19
)
- December ( 1 )
- November ( 1 )
- October ( 2 )
- August ( 1 )
- July ( 2 )
- June ( 2 )
- May ( 1 )
- April ( 1 )
- March ( 2 )
- February ( 1 )
- January ( 5 )
-
2016
(
22
)
- December ( 2 )
- November ( 1 )
- October ( 2 )
- August ( 1 )
- July ( 2 )
- June ( 2 )
- May ( 2 )
- March ( 3 )
- February ( 4 )
- January ( 3 )
-
2015
(
51
)
- December ( 4 )
- November ( 2 )
- October ( 3 )
- September ( 1 )
- August ( 5 )
- July ( 4 )
- June ( 5 )
- May ( 1 )
- April ( 6 )
- March ( 8 )
- February ( 7 )
- January ( 5 )
-
2014
(
138
)
- December ( 3 )
- November ( 7 )
- October ( 10 )
- September ( 11 )
- August ( 10 )
- July ( 14 )
- June ( 11 )
- May ( 11 )
- April ( 10 )
- March ( 14 )
- February ( 16 )
- January ( 21 )
-
2013
(
312
)
- December ( 13 )
- November ( 33 )
- October ( 33 )
- September ( 26 )
- August ( 34 )
- July ( 31 )
- June ( 31 )
- May ( 21 )
- April ( 20 )
- March ( 28 )
- February ( 21 )
- January ( 21 )
-
2012
(
367
)
- December ( 12 )
- November ( 23 )
- October ( 28 )
- September ( 19 )
- August ( 25 )
- July ( 23 )
- June ( 37 )
- May ( 34 )
- April ( 33 )
- March ( 43 )
- February ( 43 )
- January ( 47 )
-
2011
(
565
)
- December ( 55 )
- November ( 47 )
- October ( 52 )
- September ( 48 )
- August ( 43 )
- July ( 44 )
- June ( 53 )
- May ( 39 )
- April ( 50 )
- March ( 57 )
- February ( 37 )
- January ( 40 )
-
2010
(
646
)
- December ( 41 )
- November ( 42 )
- October ( 43 )
- September ( 53 )
- August ( 62 )
- July ( 63 )
- June ( 78 )
- May ( 66 )
- April ( 50 )
- March ( 61 )
- February ( 51 )
-
January
(
36
)
- Uncomfortable (But Not Hilarious At All) Picture #2
- Uncomfortably Hilarious Picture
- Was "Figure It Out" The Most Staged Game Show Of A...
- My Dung Ball Of A Day Yesterday aka Blah, Blah, Blah
- Description Of My Day In a Nutshell
- Funniest Commercial In Awhile
- Proud Of My Football Team
- Bye Conan
- "You Can Capture It, Or You Can Let It Slip"
- My Ongoing Battle With Rodeo Burgers--(Quite Possi...
- How Many Mulligans Can You Use In One Acting Career?
- A Battle That'll Never Occur Again: Kobe Bryant vs...
- "The Popper's Mentality"--A Dateline Investigation
- Possum (Opossum?) In The Crib
- Hey, How About We Win An AFC Championship?
- Multiply This Blog's Net-Worth By $28.8 Million An...
- Nothing More Than A Hilarious Picture
- Is It In Bad Taste To Say That The Dr. MLK Jr. NBA...
- Russia, Always Ahead Of The Curve
- I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES
- Yellow Candy Grinds My Gears
- The "Pinky And The Brain" Lifestyle
- Two Good Tracks For A Glum Day
- Good To Know We're In Safe Hands
- Most Offensive Movie...Ever?
- Can We Please Do The NFL Equivalent Of "Putting Th...
- Poop In The Soda
- I Can't Imagine Any Other Way To Rock Out
- BREAKING NEWS!!! Mark McGwire Did Steroids!!!
- Umm..When No One Was Paying Attention, Salamanders...
- Any Song With "Dancefloor" In The Title Gets An Im...
- Real CNN Article Title: "Homeless face tough choic...
- Laundry Service Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Tim...
- Nintendo Wii: Where Sports Games Go To Die
- The Passion Of A Fantasy Footballer
- My New Years...
The Co-Workers
Powered by Blogger.
0 Reactions to this post
Add CommentPost a Comment