Friday, January 8, 2010

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Umm..When No One Was Paying Attention, Salamanders Decided To Grow Like 5 Feet In Length (Zoom to 0:30 Mark)

Some things can slip through the cracks. You know, like gnats, or those little sparrow things you see hopping around everywhere. If a gnat grew an extra leg or started speaking English, people wouldn’t have a clue until like 2027 (JK! World is ending in 2012). It’s the same thing with sparrows. Those little things, bless their heart, are probably the most worthless/least cared about animals. They’d only grab my immediate attention if they started breathing fire, because that shit is baller to me. Salamanders apparently slipped through some cracks as well.

I watched this excruciatingly boring video up until the 30 second mark. Then all of sudden the greasiest most not-wanting-to-be-alive creature ever recorded appeared on the screen. How did this shit happen? No one said, “Damn, that’s a big salamander”? Based on the looks of these poor bastards, they didn’t want to be this big either. It’s like being a 6’4 kid in middle school.

2012 prediction #15394: We find out Japan has been dumping illegal chemicals in the area where salamanders like to frequent. Dec 23, 2012, one of these things keeps growing, learns to breathe fire and starts roaring and destroying Tokyo. It then swims across the Atlantic, terrorizes Manhattan and P. Diddy makes a song about it. Wait, what? That already happened in 1996? Alright. Carry on Japanese.

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