Wednesday, January 27, 2010

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Was "Figure It Out" The Most Staged Game Show Of All Time?

Figure It Out was shown in the television purgatory time slot of 5:30 PM that put me in the position of watching some crap "Ed, Edd, and Eddy" or "Static Shock." It was my least nerdy option.

No show frustrated me more than Figure It Out. I was at that age when I couldn't determine if Summer Sanders was hot because she was so tall (damn sure she is). Danny fucking Tamborelli was the ring leader with cynical ass Lori Beth Denberg taking second fiddle. Throw in a "not quite there" Amanda Bynes and we have a pretty shitty cast.

The show focused around the panelists guessing random little kid's talents that weren't quite talents. Oh, little Michelle remade the George Washington Bridge with lasagna, I am sure she'll get a ton of prom dates. Billy can burp his ABC's? And Mikey can juggle not two, but three tennis balls? Wow!! I was able to make the fart noise in my underarms and my knees and Nickelodeon wasn't calling me up from the farm team. Did anyone notice that none of the panelists were even remotely close to figuring out the talent until their final guess? The charade brigade was working their ass off, but no, Danny is able to figure that shit out, covered in most assuredly cold slime. These guys either read the shit out of these kids' pokerfaces or some money was being tossed around.

Let the nerd get some Genesis games and a Huffy. Pull out the big guns for those trips to Disney World and Busch Gardens. Mainly because I had a Genesis and a Huffy.

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