Wednesday, June 26, 2013

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This Is The Most Baller Thing Ever

Remember that episode of Chappelle when Dave did his own version of "Cribs" and one of the two dinosaur eggs he owned cracked, only to reveal a baby dino? Dave claimed that was the most baller shit EVER.

This dude one ups it.

He looks like your average super white person with a lot of money and teeth whiter than Paula Deen. But NEVER judge a book by it's spray-tanned cover.

That dude divorced his wife of 43 years. Alright whatever.

The settlement was $250 million. A lot, but Alex Rodriguez gets paid that much to do nothing. Again, whatever.

He mass e-mailed an orgy he had with three ladies in the back of his limo. Alright, cool, whatev.....WAIT WHAT.

This dude has basically achieved every person's dream: you get back at your ex in the craziest way you can imagine. Some highlights:

  • "I Love It" by Icona Pop played in the background. I would have gone with "Cry Me A River" and stared directly into the camera the entire time but whatever.
  • This video was shot in the south of France because of course.
  • He straight tells the women to have sex with each other and they do it. I can't even convince my girlfriend to take the same car with me to the bar. He wins. At everything.
Congrats, Orange Dude. All you gotta do now is have a coat made of white panda (choked out by Hulk Hogan)/bald eagle and a $2 million chandelier of expensive chicken dinners you've eaten over the years and you'll out-baller Chappelle.

Oh, and by the way, I'm Flip. I'm the new guy.

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