Monday, July 1, 2013

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New Racist Workout Keeps Lazy White Women in Shape



I'm not scared of black men. I'm scared of ALL men. I've almost punched my boyfriend's ear because he snuck up to my car at night to surprise me, and I thought he was a prowler, mugger and rapist. I'm wired to fear all strange men so I can keep my appendages on and my holes intact. I also want to avoid having to cancel a bunch of credit cards and file police reports, and clean the poop off myself if I make it out alive.

This fictional workout wouldn't fit my particular sensibilities because my defense against potential attackers is vomiting and dry heaving. This guy tried to get fresh with one of my boobs when I'd had too much to drink once, so I threw up on his arm. Sometimes you find a strategy quite by accident.

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